I grew up in a family of females, raised by a single mother with three sisters. Most of my friends growing up were females, because I was used to interacting with females at home. I learned about male identity and masculine expression through public schooling, but it was never really a part of my life. I was never into 'boy things' like sports and fishing, and I still wouldn't be able to explain how football works. As I read Elizabeth's Mitchell's chapter on her home experiences, I was reminded of my own childhood experiences.
Our stories are much different, of course. She's a female, I'm not. Not only that, but her family influenced her to serve and live a 'traditional' female life. As she left home, she broke away from that and explored her own feminine identity. In this sense, I find a commonality. Although I wasn't raised as a female nor was I pressured to enjoy feminine things, it came naturally as my surroundings were all females. I still found enjoyment in 'boy things' like video games, but I always felt more connected to females. My high school friends were mostly girls, except for the few male friends I had through choir and other activities.
When I came to college, a lot of this changed. I still had some girl friends, but not as many. I met more males and had more male friends, and now as I think about it, I notice that lately I have been expressing more masculine characteristics. Mitchell talks about her "search for a feminist self". This is somewhat political, and still outside something that I could experience, but I still see it as an identity search and an identity exploration. She feels a need to over-express herself and over-do certain actions to regain power or prove her ability and competence. This is something that I relate to, as another gender. I can relate this to Foucalt's ideas on power. Although I am male (which should allow me to 'hold' more power), I make extra efforts sometimes to prove masculinity through my expression.
Clearly, our unique upbringings and socialization experiences are different for everyone. The person that we become, I believe, is crafted through our interactions with others and how we feel about ourselves among others. This has been true for me. With that being said, I have to wonder, how do we encourage children to explore gender at a younger age? Is that too confusing for a child? Is it right?
Jayk, this post is extremely interesting to me. Growing up I was the opposite of you, I have two younger brothers so I liked to do "boy" things. However, now I am extremely feminine due to my friends and what I learned from them in school. I love your question about encouraging children to explore gender at a young age. It is a difficult concept for young children to grasp, but I think it will be beneficial for them growing up.
ReplyDeleteJayk, Jayk, Jayk (now, you and your name are forever embedded in my memory! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful and thoughtful entry -- would you please tell me how discussing it in class contributed to your ability to think many issues through at such a high level -- or, maybe, not so much and you might have drafted it in a similar way? Just an informal check for me on classroom interactions.
Anyway, you totally deserve a 10 on this entry -- the personal context you describe provides a perfect vantage point from which to consider complex issues like power, the politics of gender, how we shape young children, our individual searches for identity (e.g. a feminist self -- which can certainly be a critical path form men as well as women if you define feminism as a social movement intended to liberate everyone from social and cultural constraints). Also, you make tight connections to the concepts we are exploring in class and raise provocative questions.
The idea for children of forming specific gendered identities due to cultural/social/family expectations is just something they slide right into as they are immersed in a sea of signs, symbols, and forms of communication that tell them precisely who they should be -- and, so, similarly, a society and family that immerses them in less restrictive roles also results in an easy, "natural" shaping of who they are -- it is just more respectful and democratic in that it offers them many more choices and, hopefully, happier, empowered lives.
I'm glad that it was enjoyable for you, especially because I've been confused about the expectations for the blog. Truthfully this is not my first class on gender issues and not my first time discussing them. I'm definitely not saying that the class discussions don't help. The class discussions have allowed me to hear others experiences with gender issues and understand their perspectives. It's hard when it is only one person or a couple person's perspectives though. And when the ideas build off of each other's it allows me to see things and understand things that I haven't before. Of course it would help if more people were interacting, myself included.
ReplyDeleteI think that's a really comforting point that less restrictive expectations allow children to explore and naturally shape their identity. It gives hope to the gender roles and expectations that get me really upset.