This semester, for the first time, I am living with an international roommate. There are many experiences and situations of cultural confusion worth mentioning, but one gendered conversation sticks out. We were sitting in the kitchen eating a meal together, and as we finished eating, he told me not to worry about cleaning my dishes or the table. I thought this meant he was volunteering to take care of it himself, but that's not quite what happened. He told me, "In China, men do not clean. The women clean the house and wash dishes." This gender role isn't TOO abnormal even in Western society, but it still came across bluntly. As he invited his female friend over, I watched as she silently started to clean our mess. I felt incredibly guilty sitting there and continuing the conversation with him. I wanted so badly to get up and help, and I'm still not sure why I didn't. I warned him to be careful about expecting women to carry out those duties for him, and that many women here would be offended by his comment. I might be overreacting, and there might even be women here that agree with him, but it still was uncomfortable for me.

I would also like to elaborate on how his statement served as a 'speech act' to me (John Searle). By telling me to not worry and leave the work to the female, I sense that my roommate was attempting to bond with me and display that we are superior together as males. I also think that his statement was an attempt to spark discussion about international cultural differences with gender. He was implying that 'in China', gender roles are handled differently in some way. I think I will remember this brief conversation any time someone imposes that housewife stereotype as a duty rather than a preference. I am also wondering, is this age-old housewife stereotype still existent in today's American society? Has it changed at all and are we really any different than China?